Dennis who?
As a fifteen year old, Dad handed me a collection of grainy audio tapes of some old guy talking about the Psychology of Winning (POW) and suggested I give the old guy a chance. So after a huge amount of teenage eye rolling, the POW program became a bit of an obsession; a safety blanket if you will for many years to come.
Here I take some a moment to reflect on the power of listening to Dennis Waitley as a teen.
The magic of Dennis Waitley
Let Dennis entertain you...
What business does a fifteen year old girl in Australia have in listening to some old guy talking to a bunch of corporate suits in a distant function room in the early 1980's? Not much really. Shouldn't I have been swooning over the latest boy band or brushing up on my skin care routine you ask? Maybe if I was neurotypical? But the autistic brain takes you to some pretty interesting places and this was a particularly helpful journey, where Denis' story was both universally useful and accessible.
By today's standards some might perceive his message as toxic positivity (especially the language being used is so polarising - you are either a winner or a loser) but thats not how I see it or saw it at the time.
​
When the old tape begins, I imagine a man looking like my Dad standing on a stage talking to a large group. He has a calm tone that sounds like nothing has ever phased him in his life. This I am sure however is not the case.
The day long session starts with a joke about how he never gave a talk to anyone who actually ever needed it, and that the people who turned up to his sessions were already winners. He spoke about how winning was all in your attitude. Not a selfish kind of win. Instead he remarks that his version of winning isn't in the the amount of degrees you have on your wall, it rests in your attitude towards life and is the success is measured in this mantra - 'when you win, I win, and only when you win, do I win'. So, for someone like me who has spent their life helping people in one way or another, that made a lot of sense to me.
He spends the next couple of hours explaining how to be a winner using the framework of the five winning attitudes:
1. Positive self awareness - know your own potential
2. Positive self esteem - "is the deep down inside your skin feeling of your own worth"
3. Positive self control - you become what you think about
4. Positive self image - you are your goals - it's the image you are setting yourself up for in the future.
5. Positive self expectancy - 'you might not get what you want, but you will get what you expect'
Denis Waitley is one of the original motivational speakers. After leaving the US Navy, he developed his program, the psychology of winning (POW) in 1979 and sold millions of books and recordings of his speaking worldwide.
​
Being an impressionable young person in the 90's, an early introduction to goal setting, positive self talk, self awareness and attitude was invaluable as the world threw all it could to this 15 year old girl. I would sit for hours staring out my window rehearsing yet unspoken conversations adjusting for all possible journey's the conversation may take, visualising myself having these conversations, from job interviews at the local fast food outlet, to what I might say if asked to say something in front of a group.
Dennis didn't judge, he just told it how it was and how he saw the formula to being successful, noting that success is relative and personal and that encouraging others to also win, meant it was also a win for you too, something as financial counsellor we do every day.
Learning what I did at such a young age helped me to develop key skills which were not taught in school or even by those around me. It's taken half my life to get these attitudes down pat, it's never an easy road and each attitude needs to be worked on one by one accounting for whatever life is going to throw at you along the way. With an open mind an a willingness to grow and continue to learn, you can be your own version of success.
​