Parenting

From being parented to parenting, oh how the tables have turned...

Many people just know they want to be a parent, and I was very much one of those. It was just something I was going to do in my life. 
However, nothing quite prepares you for that moment when the nurse hands of the newborn into your arms and your life as a family begins.
For me it began with my daughter crying for a solid two hours - only to stop when we all left her alone. She would feed every two hours in the early days and was a very unsettled child. 
As a new parent, and being autistic (as I now understand it), adapting to a new normal, which involves a great deal of sensory overload is something I was never prepared for.
This starts with the birth, where the pain is so intense, I have no words. It's followed up with different bodily functions setting off including milk production, your body getting used to not being pregnant and hair loss amongst just a few. Looking after yourself like, managing diet when preparing food and eating is not something that comes easily, and then the external sensory inputs like loud crying, new smells and a general feeling of being out of control. 
It of course got easier over time as you get comfortable with your new role, but when your bub isn't settled - ever, and will never let you leave them alone, it lead me to the library and I remember looking at a book called - 'sensitive children' or something like that. I remember reading through it standing at the shelf with the small child asleep in the pram and I nodded and breathed a sign of relief that my experience was wholly unique. 
It would be another six years of questions, reading, being reassured that all of what your child was displaying was 'normal' development and being told you are just tired and not to stress so much. 
Two days after their seventh birthday I would be told they are autistic and have ADHD.